What is marriage?

Shaun and I got to pondering today about really what makes a marriage a marriage. I think it was mostly me doing the pondering, this subject seems to make him queasy and uncomfortable. Maybe he thinks I'm hinting; I'm not. We were pondering this because last night his sister's fiance was cross-checked from behind (he plays competitive hockey in case you were wondering) and dislocated his ankle and broke his leg. He was in Rocky Mtn. House when he did this and could not be treated there and instead had to come back to Edmonton where he is now waiting for surgery. This is after he took a stick to the eye earlier in the season requiring him to have eye surgery because it tore his retina. The doctor advised him not to play hockey for the duration of the season. Apparently he didn't listen. Shaun and I have always wondered about his insistence on playing such competitive hockey mostly because it seemed to detract from the time he spent with Shaun's sister. It worries us because we really just want her to be happy. As much as Shaun claims to hate her and as much as they fight, I know that he loves his sister and not in that "I love you because mom said I had to" way. We want her to have everlasting love and happiness and all the goopy things people say at weddings. I genuinely hope she has it.

And really what makes a marriage? If you're religious a marriage requires vows and God and church and the like (neither Shaun or I are religious so I'm not actually qualified to say...) but does that actually give you a marriage? Many religious leaders say that a marriage is between a man and a women. Is it really? I'm not saying this rhetorically or snidely or sarcastically or anything. I'm asking the question: is it really? Because I really don't know. Do you need rings and a white dress and a fancy party where you will receive far too many breadmakers for one household? Do you need two people of the opposite gender? Do you need to spend $5,000 on a photographer??? Britney Spears probably spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her wedding and I wouldn't call that a marriage in a million years.

To me a marriage has to be a partnership. I have to know that my better half has my back 100% of the time and is always looking out for my best interests. I will do the same in return. I have to know that my partner is there for me unconditionally. And I have to know them. Really know them. I'm not talking knowing their favorite color. I mean KNOW them. (Hmm... my fancy formatting buttons have disappeared.) And they have to know me. I think this is true of all people regardless of their personal beliefs. So why do we let personal belief interfere? It turns a pure thing like love into an ugly hotly contested political debate revolving around who we should be allowed to love. Leave it alone. I just hope everyone is as lucky as I finds and a "Shaun." If people do decide to marry I hope they give marriage some serious thought before investing themselves, a lot of money and, above all, a lot of time returning the 39 breadmakers they didn't need.