Laid off at 22

So...

I've been laid off. Travel Alberta Contact Center is moving to Calgary. I'm trying not to panic because I have to write a midterm paper. MOOOSAAAAA.... Breathe in Breathe out. It's okay.

Reading Week

So it's reading week. Actually, it's the end of reading week. It's been kind of a random week. Reading week always starts out with family day. Family day. I have spent an ungodly amount of time with family this week and have come to realize something: I can't stand to spend more than a couple of hours with them. A month. This is Shaun's family. Sometimes I can handle it, but right now I can't. I don't want to get into any details, but I just can't hack it. My mom and I have been getting along well, I even taught her how to send e-mail and post on message boards. For those who have never met my mother she's... well in a word she's... cute. She's probably one of the few people on the planet older than 5 who can be legitimately described as cute. But I digress. I have been reflecting on something that I read on Jacelyn's blog about what she's looking for in a partner. She's taken it down, so you'll all have to trust me on this. What if the guy has all the right stuff and the family all the wrong stuff? Now I know it's supposed to be like this, the great American romantic comedy tells us so but what if I don't want MY life to be a romantic comedy? Can't I just leave that up to Jennifer Aniston?

I have also been reflecting on spirituality (something else I read on Jacelyn's blog) and I have come to this conclusion: I just don't get it. A true positivist ladies and gentlemen. I can't put my faith into something that isn't tangible. Hell, I can barely put faith into myself. And I went to Catholic school for six years, I've been told that God is everywhere that He lives inside me and that I am one of his children. But I never believed. I was raised a Buddhist and while I enjoy the "middle-path" lifestyle His teachings offer, I'm not a practising Buddhist. I don't find any salvation or sanctuary or anything from spirituality. Maybe I just wasn't built that way. Maybe I'm like my dad. I think the man was every religion he could possibly be before he was atheist. But he didn't really give anything a fair shot. He stopped being Lutheran when they told him dogs don't go to heaven. He stopped being Mormon when he craved coffee. He stopped being Hindu because he loves steak. Maybe I'm mixed up because my fourth grade Catholic school teacher was Jewish. Maybe I'm mixed up because when I was 15 I went to Sunday school with my friend Andrea and we spent the entire hour insulting people and consciously trying to make them feel bad. I think it was supposed to show how persecuted Jesus felt, but it just felt wrong and ridiculous to me.

Anyways, between my overly materialistic in-laws (they totally clash with the middle-path mentality) and my confusion over spirituality its been one hell of a week. And I did no reading. But really, who reads during reading week? (Don't answer that.)

There's Vera Wang stemware, cutlery and tableware involved now. I feel my soul slowly dying from participating in this insanity.

Consumerism at its best

So the whole family is getting new cars. Everyone except for us. And do you know what they're all getting? Chevrolet Equinox. For those of you who aren't familiar with cars, this is a Chevrolet Equinox:




It's big, and a gas guzzler. It's an SUV. Now for those of you who may not know, I absolutely hate pick up trucks and SUVs. Maybe that makes me distinctly un-Albertan. Who knows? But so the family leased 3 of this suckers today. No one needs them. Not one of them needs a car any bigger than our Aveo. For anyone who hasn't seen the Aveo it looks like this:




They got a purple one for Amanda, a gold one for Shaun's mom, and a black on for Shaun's dad. Is that creepy or what? It's like... I don't know the twilight zone or something. It just proves to me that no one, not even in the family is really capable of independent thought. Or this how it seems to me. They are buying into the marketing and buying into the lifestyle that GM markets with the Equinox. Nevermind the fact that none of them need a car that big, the fact that they are polluting, spending far too much on gas and insurance, and are at greater risk to health problems brought on by the fact that they could roll the SUV (with Amanda, is any given day now. I strongly believe that there should be a city wide warning system for the City to warn our hardworking and honest citizens everytime she's on the road. It's for our own protection. Trust me.). Not to mention the increased stress, the urban sprawl. But what about critical thought? NONE! Just keeping up with the Jones', that's all. And I'm not one of those crazy Ad-busters. I don't really care one way or the other about advertising, because if you're not smart enough to think critically about what you're seeing and what you're being fed by corporations then maybe you deserve to be taken for all your worth. I don't know. It's just a thought.

But this is coming from a family who is shelling out five grand for a photographer and five hundred because apparantly none of us can do our own make up for "the wedding". So really why am I surprised?

I'm really glad that Shaun didn't turn out like his sister.

I think I'm too jaded for this now.

Oh, and I got a new cell phone. It was free. It's really pretty and takes pictures.

I DON'T CARE!!!

So tonight I got a call from Jason. Who is Jason you ask? Well that's a REALLY good question. Who is Jason? I sure didn't know, so I asked him. Well he's Pete's (Amanda's fiance) best man. Oooookaaay. Why was he calling me? And how in the hell did he get my phone number??? Oh, well he got an email from Amanda where she gave 10 perfect strangers my phone number and didn't even have the decency to ask me! What the HELL? Well it's not Jason's fault that Amanda is crazy so I decide to be polite. Jason wants to know when I would be available for the stagette party because he's trying to make sure the stag and stagette party are on the same weekend. No one said anything to me about going to a stagette. And besides, it's February. The freakin' wedding isn't until September!!! The last day of September. Well tentatively what does my schedule look like? Hmmm... Jason since I will still be a student next September it will probably be full of paper writing. Since I wasn't planning on going to any stupid stagette party or spending the night before the wedding with Amanda I don't really care. Maybe that makes me a bad sister-in-law or a bad bridesmaid or a bad person. But she was rude enough to let me know that I wasn't first choice and that really she didn't want me in her wedding. Which was fine by me. I'm a place holder. Like a zero. I don't think that should require me to do any more than put on the ugly dress and walk down the aisle while trying to pretend to cry when really I'm trying not to laugh. I'm sorry, but they're doing a "Rose Ceremony". They might as well write cowboy poetry to one another and recite it to the beat of an Afrian drum. They're missing family dinner because it is the anniversary of the day Pete proposed. Who cares? If you celebrate that you might as well celebrate the first hair cut after the proposal, the first time you brushed your teeth after the proposal, the first time you wore orange.... No I'm not angry at all. Not only do we get screwed out of everything because Amanda's a whiny baby and will use you to get whatever she wants, it always freakin' works!!! ARGH!!!

Wow that was really therapeutic. I feel better now.

Please don't laugh at me....

So this is my ugly dress....




And I think Shaun would look better in it than me....




And this is to remind me that even if Amanda hates me (and she must to make me wear this hideous dress) Lucky still loves me.